Chapter 67: Live the Dream

It's week three and I think after waking up at 7am nearly everyday my body is finally adjusting to waking up without snoozing my alarm 15 times. These productive mornings lead to productive afternoons and relaxing dinner hours. 

Sav working on her portfolio with two cups of caffine by her side. 

Sav working on her portfolio with two cups of caffine by her side. 

The work load has picked up and we keep diving deeper into our concepts. While the work piles on, it becomes more and more enjoyable. On the first day of class when I laid out what I had, I realized that none of it made sense. Actually, I knew that before I laid it all out. It made me really nervous that it wasn't all there and that I couldn't picture the finished collection in my head. I kept telling myself to trust the process, keep working, and stay calm. Every class I try to gather as much feedback as possible and use that to guide my work for the following days. Every time I sit down to work on my collection I make a new discovery. I see new prints working together, different colors popping out. I see how the story can be told in the most effective way. I take note of what my eye is drawn to, what my silhouettes are shaping out to be, and just let my mind connect the dots. The research is ongoing and the five folders I have on the Google drive, my phone, and various flash drives are filling up with "last minute inspiration." It feels very organic and sensible to just dump my mind on sketchbook pages rather than trying to talk somebody through all of these working sessions. It's liberating and an indescribable feeling to sit down and see your vision slowly but surely come together. I have to keep reminding myself to be patient and use the time I have wisely. 

This is a point in my life that is becoming increasingly more important and exhilarating. I've only ever dreamed of having the time and opportunity to build my own collection. I am completely immersed in my work and have very little distractions which is a blessing. For the first time in a year I'm excited to stay up late at night to finish something, and I see challenges as opportunities again. Nothing so far has halted that positivity and I'm determined to keep my head up as the days get even longer.

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One thing that I've been asked a lot lately is where I want to be after graduation. I keep answering differently because I just don't know yet and as each day passes I'm growing more and more comfortable with not knowing. After lots of thinking and introspection I've come to the realization that I'm too young to stop chasing my wildest dreams. All of the details may not be figured out, there may not be enough money, there may be a few late nights, but I can't stop short. It sounds obvious right? Everybody tells you to chase your dreams, but sometimes they don't actually mean it. It's not the obvious answer when you have a job offer in New York waiting for you with a great salary, full benefits, paid vacation, and regular working hours. I may choose to do something that results in me eating twice a day rather than three times, or not seeing my family for half a year at a time, or moving to a place where I don't know a single person. But we only have one life! Chasing dreams is the scary option, the one that yields many unkowns, but what's the worst that can happen? I fail. Okay. So what. I still have to try, there has to be a way. 

The work I'm doing now fills my heart up and makes me happy. I am living the dream and I don't plan on stopping short.