Most of my posts have a positive twist, and yes this one will too I assure you, but prepare yourself for brutal honesty in the beginning followed by a positive take-away.
I'm currently in the midst of finals. Everybody deals with the same problems: huge black bags under their eyes, the development of poor eating (or not eating) habits, and probably just overall angst towards their desired major. I'm experiencing all of those and I feel like my mental and physical health is at an all time low.
Even while sleeping the bare minimum amount and working 12+ hour days, I find myself not being able to keep up with my work. Part of that may stem from the need for perfection, (which has proven to be my downfall and success factor) and the other part of that is unrealistic expectations all around.
I hear day after day, "The fashion industry is fast paced, stressful, and nasty." Imagine hearing that about the career you've chosen for yourself. The sleepless nights continue, the stress lingers, and the best of the best can barely live their lives properly. Wow what a great life choice I've made going into this industry filled with pretty dresses and fake energy...
I came into SCAD with endless passion, and throughout the quarter it's escaped me. Every week when I sketch, research, and develop ideas, I still find that same passion again. Those moments when I just want to run around the room and scream about how cool some creative discovery is... just don't happen as often. But prior to SCAD, fashion wasn't work and now it is; nobody will EVER like their job every single day. When I'm given 24 hours to design an entire collection; 23 hours of those hours are overtaken by anxiety that I won't make the deadline, and the other short hour is filled with bursts of passion. I feel a little bit shorted; in order to get a product I'm proud of I have to sacrifice my physical well-being day.after.day.
But that's fashion.
I'm currently in the final stretch. I have two weeks of endless work before I get to start catching up on sleep. Those two weeks are meant for me to go through hell, but there is a breaking point; I have to occasionally step back and say no to the demands of the industry so that I don't make myself sick over trying to succeed. My internal need to constantly create is still there, the right side of my brain is just a little bit tired.
Somebody once told me that we are only gifted one life to be healthy; fashion will always be there.
So yes, I do hate fashion right now. Will I hate it in two weeks? Hopefully not; seeing the beautiful result makes the 23 hour anxiety attack somewhat worth it. (Who the hell says that? That's when you know you're addicted to the pretty dresses and unrealistic demands that the fashion industry calls for.)